![\"\"](\"http:\/\/www.christiehudson.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/02\/writing-in-sand-letting-go.jpg\" "\\"writing")
<\/a><\/p>\n(reflections on the experience)<\/p>\n
if i am part of the ocean
\nthen letting go is giving
\nthere is no washing away, no rejection
\nno turning away from this aliveness for which i am so grateful<\/p>\n
the water is astoundingly transparent
\nit becomes only movement
\ngently touching my feet, it reminds me that i’m part of this wonderously uncertain experience<\/p>\n
i join the waves as they illustrate the impermanence of each moment
\ntracing them with a stick in the sand
\nappreciating the impossibility of such a drawing
\nsomehow this act provides a buffer between me and the overwhelming awareness of constant death and rebirth
\nas if saying, “i know… but i still want to be here in this moment. i still want to create and experience this.”
\nthe ocean accepts my futile marks without judgment<\/p>\n
my finger created letter-shaped wells in the gritty sand the letters spelled out a mystery, “that which keeps me from you”
\nthere is the present moment, a creative act, wonder
\nthe body of the present moment dissolves into the past, transformed by loss
\nthe water that immediately materializes in the letters is like the sorrow i feel
\nthe boundless ocean behind me roars, “this<\/em> is how great i am. this<\/em> is how profound.”<\/p>\n
\ni don’t know what it is
\ni don’t know what anything is
\nbut for a chance to be with you
\ni am willing to ask for help
\nwith acceptance, with gratitude, i released this to the ocean, to all that is and is not, back to myself<\/p>\n